Five Steps to Finding a Therapist

Navigating the world of therapy is not easy. And if you're a neurodivergent individual, well, let's just say the challenge level can get cranked up a few notches.

You need to find a therapist who not only specializes in what you need but also knows their stuff inside and out. Easier said than done, right? The struggle is real. And as a fellow neurodivergent individual, I get it – the process can feel so complex. If you’ve searched for a therapist before, you know the feeling. You may have analysis paralysis creeping in, and the internet bombards you with information until your brain feels like it might just short-circuit. And let's not forget the hoops you have to jump through just to secure a consultation – it's like the universe's way of testing your determination.

Oh, but that's not all. Enter the mystifying realm of insurance. Benefits, coverage, in-network, out-of-network – it's enough to make anyone's head spin. You're left wondering if deciphering your insurance plan is a secret rite of passage.

And can we talk about budgets? Finding a therapist that fits your financial reality can feel like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Will you stumble upon someone who aligns with your wallet's desires? Finding a therapist that's both a match for your needs and your bank account can feel like playing the lottery.

Feeling anxious now? Well let’s pause. Because in the midst of this chaos, I'm here to be your guide – a lighthouse cutting through the stormy sea of therapy-seeking woes. Together, we'll draft a battle plan to conquer these challenges, one step at a time. So, grab your metaphorical armor, and let's set out on a journey to find the therapist you truly deserve.

Step One: Start browsing.

First thing’s first - gotta start browsing. I know, it can be a pain. And this may be where your journey has both started and ended in the past. But let’s make this time different!

Your best bet is going to be using directory websites. A directory website is a website where therapists advertise their services for potential clients to find. I've gone through the process of signing up on these sites myself, and one thing I've noticed is that they ask for verification of my credentials. This is a step I really appreciate because it adds an extra layer of assurance and safety for people using the site to search for a therapist. Of course, there might still be therapists who won't be the best fit for you, but at least you can be sure that the folks you're sifting through are genuine licensed professionals.

Now you’re ready to explore a directory website. Let’s talk about options. Popular directory sites include Psychology Today and TherapyDen. Some other great options that may be less well known are Inclusive Therapists, Open Path Collective, and Mental Health Match. If you want to use insurance, websites like Alma and Headway can be helpful as well (although the other sites listed can also help you search for therapists who accept your insurance). Neurodivergent Therapists is another personal recommendation of mine, as the goal of this directory is to help connect neurodivergent clients with neurodivergent therapists.

Please note: Although I personally participate in some of these directories, I have not been sponsored or compensated by any of them to make this blog post - just sharing information!

You can also default to old reliable - a search engine. However, some therapists don’t have their own websites and rely on directory websites to gain new clients. Therapists aren’t usually trained on things like web design and search engine optimization. Search engines can also make it difficult to find practices that are online-only (for example, Google business profiles are not allowed for online-only businesses). So, you may miss out on a great therapist if you only use this method. If you prefer using search engines, that’s fine! I would just suggest that you also include at least one directory website in your search.

Step Two: Use filters and keywords in your search.

When using a directory website, make sure you utilize the search filters available to you. Because so many of us therapists use these sites, you will likely get an overwhelming amount of results if you only search using your geographical area. Most (if not all) therapist directories have search filters.

Here are some common filters:

• Therapist specialties (e.g., working with neurodivergent individuals)

• Location (in-person? virtual?)

• Insurance and/or out-of-pocket session costs

• Therapist identities (e.g., gender, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity)

Clearly, you've got a bunch of filters at your disposal when you're on the search for a therapist. If you haven't really thought about some of the things I mentioned in these filter examples, I suggest taking a moment to ponder or jot down your preferences. For example, do you want to find someone who specializes in ADHD? Maybe you want to find a therapist who offers virtual sessions so you can meet from your home. Think about your budget for therapy - do you need someone who takes your insurance? Do you have a maximum amount you’re willing to pay for out of pocket therapy? Also consider if you think you would be most comfortable with a therapist that holds specific identities.

Again, I know this is a lot to consider. However, the more that you identify your preferences before you begin your search, the better chance you have of identifying a good fit and saving yourself from a bunch of back-and-forth only to find out that a therapist is totally not right for you.

When using search engines, you may not have access to the types of filters I mentioned above. In that case, you will have to rely on keywords. If you have thought about what you are looking for in a therapist, it is good to use that information in your search. For instance, let’s say you live in Austin, Texas, and finding a therapist in your area is important to you. You also want to find a therapist who is neurodivergent. So, you may search for something like “neurodivergent therapists in Austin.”

Step Three: Navigate directory profiles and websites to get the information you need.

Okay, let’s assume that you have picked a directory website to search for a therapist. You enter your zip code (most common way to begin a search on directories) and use the filters to narrow the results. Now it’s time to start reviewing individual therapists’ directory pages. Let’s talk about how to make sure you find the information you need.

All directory sites are a little different, but most contain similar basic information. You should be able to:

• Read a welcome message from the therapist

• See the therapist’s rates (or a range of rates)

• Find out if the therapist accepts insurance

• Find a link to contact the therapist and/or a link to their own website

Make sure that you scroll the entire page. I know the amount of information can be overwhelming, but a lot of the important information (e.g., insurance, rates) ends up at the bottom of the page! Silly, I know. Here's a tip that might come in handy: consider keeping notes or making a simple spreadsheet. This way, you can gather key details about therapists that catch your eye. Basic information like names, rates, and profile links will do. This lets you avoid the overwhelm of trying to remember everything on the spot. Later, you can trim down your list at your own pace, without the pressure of making an instant decision about who to reach out to.

Often, therapists will list their own websites on their directory profiles. I highly recommend taking a look at those websites. Online directories are fantastic tools that connect us therapists with potential clients. However, there are limits to what we can share there due to things like word count or character limits. Therapists' websites are (usually) goldmines for additional information, covering the therapist’s specialties, their approach to working with clients, and even giving you a glimpse of their personality. Exploring individual websites can help you dig deeper and narrow down your choices even further.

Here's an example: Let's say you're on the hunt for a therapist specialized in working with Autistic adults (like me!). You find a therapist whose directory listing piques your interest, but leaves you wanting more details. By checking out their website, you could stumble upon a wealth of information about how they specifically work with Autistic individuals – and suddenly, everything clicks into place. Now you've got an option that feels even more aligned with what you're seeking. This approach can save you time and boost your confidence when reaching out to potential therapists.

Another crucial point, especially for fellow neurodivergent folks: communication needs. Personally, I lean toward emails or contact forms over phone calls – but your preferences might differ, and that's perfectly valid! The thing is, directory websites can sometimes emphasize one communication method over others. Take Psychology Today, for example. The top of the page usually highlights a phone number in big, bold font, with an "Email Me" button lurking just below it. If it were me searching for a therapist, my brain would lock onto that number, causing the email option to slip under the radar. On a therapist’s own website, however, they may have a “Contact me” button that takes you to a separate page dedicated to the ways you can contact them.

Once you have all the information you need to narrow down your list of potential therapists to a few options, it’s time to start reaching out!

Step Four: Make your first contacts and do some consultations.

Let’s recap: You’ve used your search skills to identify a short list of therapists. Now, you’re ready to begin reaching out. It can be scary, I know! But remember, therapists are here to help.

Many therapists (myself included!) offer free, brief consultations. Some do not. It is a therapist’s discretion on whether they offer these or not. For me, I find that it is helpful to give potential clients a chance to speak with me, ask questions, and discuss details like rates and availability before scheduling an “official” first appointment.

If you are able to schedule a free consultation, I suggest that you do! It can help you get even more of a sense of whether a therapist is a good fit for you. I know it can be anxiety-provoking to set up one consultation, much less multiple. But if you feel up to it, I encourage you to do so. To hopefully ease your mind a bit, below are some things to keep in mind when setting up a consultation:

• Therapists understand that people searching for therapy services may take a while to make a decision.

• We also understand that individuals seeking therapy may be consulting with several therapists at the same time to find a good fit.

• We know that a free consultation does not automatically mean you become our client.

• We know that even if you do make an appointment with us, you may change your mind after working with us for one or more sessions.

Even though it might seem a bit overwhelming, my advice is to stay open and upfront when you're communicating with potential therapists. Don't hesitate to tell them if you're not ready to commit just yet or if you're exploring options with multiple therapists. If you ever feel like a therapist is pushing you into a decision, that might signal that they're not the right fit for you.

Let me clarify something here: if a therapist mentions a time frame within which they'd like to know if you're interested in working together, it's not necessarily meant to pressure you. Take me, for instance – I might do this when I see my schedule filling up fast. It's not about applying pressure but ensuring that I don’t offer to work with someone and then not have a spot for them. What I mean by "being pushed into a decision" is you clearly expressing a boundary and that boundary not being respected. In that case, it could be a sign to explore other options. For instance, let’s say you have a free consultation with a therapist and they insist on scheduling a first appointment before the consultation ends even though you requested more time to make a decision. Personally, that doesn't sit well with me. You are not obligated to schedule a paid appointment with someone you don’t feel ready to work with. Trust your instincts and do what feels right for you!

During consultations, I suggest that you bring in a list of questions. Don’t worry, this is not a job interview - you don’t need really complicated or interesting questions. Here are some examples of what to ask a potential therapist:

• Do you have experience working with individuals like myself/individuals with similar concerns to me?

• How do you approach sessions with new clients?

• Do you accept my insurance?

• What is your availability? (To determine if your schedules match.)

• What is the best way to reach out if I want to schedule an appointment?

You will likely only have about 15 to 20 minutes for a free consultation, so keeping the list of questions short and to the point is a good idea. Therapists understand that we will have limited time in the consultation so we don’t mind getting past the small talk and into the questions! Don’t forget to take notes on the therapist’s answers. It will likely help you make a decision later. Also, it’s okay if you don’t get all of your questions answered. Most therapists, myself included, will offer to answer further questions via email if we run out of time in the consultation.

The last thing I will note in step four is this: Therapists want to find clients that are a good fit just as much as clients want to find a therapist who is a good fit. Why? Research shows that a strong therapeutic relationship between a therapist and a client is the best predictor of good outcomes in therapy. So, us therapists really do want to make sure that you feel good about your decision to work with us because we want you to get what you need out of therapy! We understand that for a lot of people that means having all the information you need and having time to make a decision. But again… I can’t speak for all therapists. Use your discretion. If something doesn’t feel right, trust yourself!

Step Five: Make a decision.

I will be honest - it took me a long time to finish this section. Here’s what I finally landed on: I unfortunately can’t tell you how to make the decision of which therapist to work with. However, I can share that after going through steps 1 to 4, the next step is to make a choice. I get it, this part can be really tough! But here's a crucial reminder: you're allowed to change your mind. There isn’t an amount of sessions with a therapist that means you're “locked in.” So, with that in mind, rely on the insights you've gathered from steps 1 to 4 to make the best decision possible about who you want to work with. Again, I can't give you a step-by-step guide to making the decision, but I'd recommend revisiting the criteria you started with and the notes you took during consultations. This should give you a clearer sense of who's the best fit among the options you've identified. Then, if you feel ready, reach out to the therapist you’ve chosen to schedule your first appointment! Congratulations, you did it!